I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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