thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
