I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
