giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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