its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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