my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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