I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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