i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize