idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
