Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
