I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
