First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize