goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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