ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
