Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Randomize
