You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
