I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
