You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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