Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
