we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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