chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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