I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
