Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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