i think my tv is drunk
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize