My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
