Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
