I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
