jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
