i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
