I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
