have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
