My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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