also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize