Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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