Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think your dad took our porno
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
