hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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