OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
