love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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