We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
