Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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