Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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