chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize