Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
