I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
BRING THE BAGELS
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
