Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize