nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
