this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
