a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
