No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize