She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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