Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
