Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize