we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize