I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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