Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
