Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
