She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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