so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
