sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i need some magic done to my vagina
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
