Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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